baaa.

proud of the past, living in the present, looking to the future.

all i have to say really. Moving on is hard, but it's done. Living in the present is difficult without wishing you could go back, but it's unavoidable. Looking to the future is hope ♥

yours truly,
j x


PS. that was pretty deep, eh?

Home, at last?

So, i haven't written anything on here in a while. Haha. Life hasn't changed to much except that my post before this, no longer is valid and i no longer feel that way ^_^ My feelings towards my new school have changed, i feel that it is my school now but it will never match up to what i had before. i love all of my new friends but i they're not like sisters to me, i wouldn't cry if one of them cried and i'd still give anything to go back to what i had before. I LOVE YOU STD. haha. but anyways, moving on from that and the depressingness of it... GUYS. mmmhmm. there is one in particular, in fact there are two. One, is someone i've only met recently, i would've never of thought of him in that way till someone said we'd make a cute couple because of the way we act in school but at the same time he is not my type of guy. He's not blonde, with floppy indi hair, or indi anyway and nor does he have a six pack : but he's sweet and funny and tbh, that's good enough but he doesn't give me butterflies or make my heart thump. The other is annoying, rude and up himself beyond anything, yet he's protective and sweet. he gives me butterflies... occasionally although he's shorter than me and again isn't the kinda guy i'd usually go for but hey, beggers can't be choosers right? There is also another guy, who i'd liked forever but now, it's different. I don't wish i could be with him, i don't wish we were still friends. i don't want anything from him. and that thought makes me happy and relieved cos I'M OVER IT BABY! haaaa. now anyways, onto lighter topics, these next three or two days of mine are going to be spent with the three most awesome girls ever, i love them to bits and i cannot wait. BS baby ;)

yours truly,
j x

New lives?

So, school work is going fine, new found friendships are going fine and well life is pretty dandy. HOWEVER (yeah i used capitals), there is one thing, or person, bugging me. And that is my old friend (she knows who she is & if she reads this i want her to know i'm reali pissed off atm!!!). Basically, we're all excited being here at this new school, everything's fine and dandy. she has her friends, i have mine, easy as right? Wrong. we have been reali good friends for a while, i would in fact call her one of my bestfriends, mayb even my bestfriend at times. we were meant to see this school as a phase, go to fashion school together etc. etc. but it's a bit hard being all 'yay!' about plans like that when she decides to ditch you and put you second best to some person who she just picked up! do you know what i mean? mayb you don't, mayb you do. but to be honest, don't start dropping old friends to pick up ones that you've only known for a like a few weeks, right? get it. got it. good. aaaaaahh i'm peeved.

yours truly,
j x

Shizzzzzle.

So. My mind is blank, really blank for today. I am overwhelmed with shit. work. people. school. friends. it's all too much ya know? So yesterday, i have to write about this b'cos it drove me mental, i was sitting at lunch on a table of six with some 'friends' (aka, people who i'm starting to like but at the end of the day will never give a shit about) and we were having banter. we were talking about guys and i was mentioning how i only went for older ones (but only by a year or two) and these two girls kept arguing against everything i said and giving me funny looks. i then went on to say something along the lines of "i prefer older guys, that's why i'm not really into any of the boys in our year" and then one of the girls replied, "yeah but you've only been here like what? a week!" bitchface. i HATE(!!!) people like that, i didn't leave a girls school to encounter bitchyness. i should've left that behind (although i would give anything to have all of it back) but i am NO WAY taking that here. no way. so anyway, i have to finish writing a GCSE exam style question about Jesus. fun?

Yours truly,
J x

A Few Weeks Passing.

So... it's been three weeks now, at my new school. And tbh, life is going pretty good. I so avoided being in with the losers, have quite a wide range of chums and i'm doing pretty well. *TOUCH WOOD TO ALL OF THAT* anyways, i went to london fashion weekend yesterday :D my my my, it was amazing. okay so i could'nt afford half the shit there it was still the best!!! i saw a catwalk show, showcasing big trends for a/w 09 (such as big shoulders), went shopping and to top it all off it was sunny and my hair, if i may say so myself, looked fab :) i purchased many things including two wildfox couture tee's and as some of you may know wildfox is big with the LA celebs (such as LC, the kardashians, etc.) not that i'm into that materialistic crap... really. also being there inspired me to really try hard, cos damn i wanna make it into the business. i can write, and i'm sorta smart, and i love fashion - that points to fashion journalism ;) godddd i would kill to be part of it all. the hype & shit. well anywayssss, that's all from me :D

yours truly,
j x

Weeekend.

aaahaa, the weekends here biatches! thank fuck. mmm, i'm in a real sweary mood. Sooo, guess what?? i am going to london fashion week!! i think anyways. i am soo excited, i'v wanted to go for a few years now and finally, here's my chance! I don't really know what to say now, my big surprisey thing is gone. ...i love school now, it's truly the bomb. no where near as good as my old school, but hey, lightning doesn't strike twice ya know? haha.

yours truly,
j x

getting on with it.

So, i am halfway through my first proper week at my new school and everything is meh. i wish there was more life to it but generally it's meh. i have met some amazing people, some not so amazing and some right dicks. the amazing people are hilarious, remind me a taaad of my old friends (not that they could ever be replaced) i think i am finding my right group, the group i feel i belong to. and that guy i mentioned before? yeah i'm still not really a person to him... but i shall at least try and befriend him :D
but i must say, high school's a jungle and i'm unexperienced.

yours truly,
j x

New School!

So, as i mentioned i started school yesterday. and i've so far experienced two days there, which have gone amazingly (to how i thought they were gonna be), i must say. well sort of. i was dead nervous at first i can't even explain but ya know what? they're okay. they don't bite (at least i don't think they do) and they'r not mean (at least i don't think they are). However, there is a noticeable heirachy and lucky for me, i somehow escaped the mosh at the bottom :D the people i'v become chummy-ish too are really nice... although it's too soon to say anything, for all i know they could just be polite and are secretly bitching about me. and i walked into the classroom today and all the boys and girls in my form were huddled in a group (which isn't what i was expecting from a co-ed school) and i had a feeeeeling that they could've been talking about the 'new girl'. There is one girl in particular who i am getting some seriously harsh vibes off, i am so getting the feeling that i'm not wanted and whenever she talks to people she has a habit of so leaving me out of things. aaaggaaa. but whatevvvs. i'll show herrr. and now onto more important things. there's this guy, who is gorgeous... one of the popular ones in our class and PHWOAR, he's got one of those real english looks sadly i don't exist to him >< . but i can't get distracted... despite the eye candy ;)

yours truly,
j x

Aaaah!!!

Okay, well this will be my last blog before my first day at my new school (eeepppaaa!). I am soo looking forward to it but at the same time i'v never been more scared in my life. but ya know, just gotta brace myself for whatever comes my way & stay strong. OH YESSS, FEEL THE POWER. haha. so yeah, fingers crossed in the hope that i won't be a) a social failure, b) an academic failure and c) just a complete overall failure. Anywayssss...

peace homiessss.
yours truly,
j x

Zipped.

Hey, hey. So today i am completely spaced and my brain is totally frazzed. i mean, what with all the school shit, it's enought to get anyone's head rockin'. but the sole purpose for this post was to say
GROW UP AND GET YOUR OWN.

mmmhmmm.
yours truly,
j x

Moving On

Weeeelll, i have realised that moving schools is about so much more than moving schools. It's about completely letting go of old friends, old people, re-inventing myself you know? B'cos, looking on facebook sorta depresses me now. There a few reasons why, because you see your old friends frolicking, boosting their social lives, having a rave... without you. Okay, sure i allowed myself to dip out of the circle, gave up running the popular race. Yeah sure, it's fun & games when you'r up there but to be perfectly honest, it was real friends i wanted. And i got them, in the form of three angels. However, it still bugs me when crazy stuff goes on and networking without me. I try not to regret the decisions i made and are still making but it's hard. So now i am completely off facebook & i refuse to use it again (aha, so not true) but! I am overjoyed at the thought of going to a new school, i can choose the things to tell people about me, innocently give a few white lies and just re-invent myself into the person i'v wanted to be for a while. I'm sick of being the joker. Sick of it. And anyways, life is just beginning. It's hard to let go and face the facts but i have and i will. I just have to promise myself not to worry to much about the goings on of others that have nothing to do with me. Aaah.

Yours truly,
J x

Headachesss!

God, i have the biggest thumping headache ever. Really. And i'm still trying to work this blog, i don't quite get what's going on. Arrgghhh! You know, i haven't had a headache this big since i was last hungover. Which i can recall back to a summer house party in which i got smashed. In the morning, breakfast was pastries, croissants and pinacolada. Oh and left over punch which i can tell you, didn't sit to well ><>awesome people who, if i hadn't of been under the influence of drink, i probably would've never have plucked up the courage to speak to them. But with the help of some well connected friends i soon knew everyone :D aah but shit! Summer's almost over, i can taste the feel of school on the little tippy bit of my unusualy tiny tongue! I'm pretty scared. This new school is a whole level up from my old one. Yes my old school had a lake and a chapel but this school has twenty-six tennis courts and a chapel more than twice the size of my old one! But i suppose, you win some you lose some. Right? Right. Just gotta keep telling myself that.

Toodles,
J x

New to thiss!

Well, well, well. I have decided to create my own blog. Simply because, it's a fabulous way to cure boredem & because i can output my feelings here. Firstly i would like to say, my blog will consist of me, telling you, the ridiculously scandalous lives of British, private school children. Myself being one of them. And also when i return to school this September, i'll be starting a new school and it's my first ever time moving. You see i used to go to a small private girls school, but due to this bloody recession it closed after three hundred years in the running (it is now to a be a boys school - insulting? ofc). So now, i have upgraded to a posher, grander and more expensive school.
So, my blog will tell you about our lives and hopefully give people a chance to see, we're not all pompous snobs ;)

yours truly,
j x